March 1999
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The Bad Lieutenant Philosophy |
| SuperBad and the Bad Mother are Bad in every respect. Nonetheless, there's enough Badness to go around in this crazy, mixed up world. So with pride, or the closest thing we can muster being this gaddam drunk, we present a list of the other truly Bad Fuckers in the world |
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| Got an idea for a Bad Lieutenant? I bet it's not a GOOD idea. Nonetheless, send it to us here. |
| Storytime |
| Cast of Characters |
| Hooch |
| Wheels |
| Resolutions |
| Bad Lieutenants |
| Instigator Harvey Keitel |
| Comic |
| 87 cents |
He's Done A Bad Bad Thing
This Month's Bad Lieutenant: Dig this man, know this man, be this man. Harvey was the cold-as-hell Mr.White in Reservoir Dogs, the slick problem solver Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction and, inexplicably, Shorty in Monkey Trouble. But better than any of Harvey's movie roles is the fact that he allegedly whacked off in Nicole Kidman's hair (which, as near as we can figure, was the first contact Kidman's ever had with human sperm) during the filming of Stanley Kubrick's upcoming Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah, Harvey's a method actor --- he's a rythm-method actor. So kudos to Academy and Golden Globe Award winner Harvey Keitel for giving Nicole Kidman a reason to compulsively check on whoever the hell's standing behind her.
In fact, we respectfully submit the following list of other celebrities we'd
like to see (figuratively speaking) Harvey masturbate onto in the near
future:
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