'58 El Dorado
SuperBad drives,
Bad MF passes out in the backseat,
And everyone else gets the fuck out of the way.

Dig this,  Mother Fucker! Who would have thought Bad Mother would ride around in a beat up 58 El Dorado. To hear Bad Mother tell it you would think the backseat could fit a full house at a tijuana donkey show, but I digress. The real deal is that Super Bad is a sucker for big old cars. Hell , the bigger the better, SuperBad likes his cars like he likes his women and lordy may that is one big fucking car. So the story about how and when they got the 58 caddy goes a little something like this.

SuperBad and his goofy drunk sidekick were driving around in a beat up 1970 Dodge plain brown wrapper police car, you know that was the style for street thugs such as them. Well SuperBad was just going on and on about the car has got no power, no style, no bucket seats, an AM radio etc. Bad Mother running a little low on fresh bottle of Jack Daniels finally has enough and pipes up from the back.

"You going to shut the fuck up and get me a new supply of Jack Daniels if we get a new car?"

SuperBad slowly turns to look towards the back seat,

"Where the fuck do you get off telling me to shut the fuck up, you aint even got enough money to buy yourself another baby's bottle worth of Jack Daniels and you're spouting off about some new car. Fuck You!"

Bad Mother finishes off the half empty bottle of jack and extends a filthy fingerless glove covered hand filled with crumpled hundred dollar bills towards the front seat where SuperBad is still fuming.

"We can buy whatever kind of piece of shit fucking ride you think you need and still have some green left over for whisky."

SuperBad looks at the wadded up twenty's and starts to mutter underneath his breath.

"What the fuck are you muttering?"

"I said El Dorado, Cadillac El Dorado. The kind of caddy that you can serve thanksgiving dinner to your whole family in the back seat and still have room to fuck a whore next to you're grandma without causing a scene."

Bad Mother thinks for a bit and yells

"29th and Vine, There is Big Daddy Browns used cars and a drive through liquor joint on the corner."

As Bad Mother proceeds to pass out in the back seat, SuperBad grabs the E-Brake and slams the police cruiser into first as the car squeals and bucks 180 degrees before laying a 100 feet of black rubber at exit in an attempt to make it to 29th and vine before closing. 

They arrive at the lot at 4:59, one minute before closing. Big Daddy Brown is pissed and trying to close the entrance gate as fast as he can. SuperBad jumps out of the rapidly moving vehicle to confront Big Daddy and demand that he stay open. The unmanned police cruiser crashes into the would be barrier pinning Big Daddy Brown between the fence and it's fender. His screams of agony awaken  the passed out Bad Mother as SuperBad scoures the used car lot  finding a beat up 58 El Dorado.

"How much for that 58 caddie?"

Big Daddy screams and try's to break free.

" That car don't have no engine or suspension ya fool, get me free! I think I have a broken leg."

SuperBad jumps in the cruiser and backs out with no disregard for the condition of Big Daddy Brown. Bad Mother still a little groggy  crawls out from the side window falling to the ground before completl;y awaking from his stupor. He grabs Big Daddy's arms and drags him to the front office as SuperBad trails behind twirling a Colt 45.

Bad Mother throws Big Daddy into a chair and then slumps onto one of the couches in the waiting room. SuperBad strolls in with a menacing look and points the Colt 45 at Big Daddy Browns forehead.

"Big Fucking Gay Daddy or whatever you're called, here is the deal. You get your monkey fucking mechanics  here to put a high class suspension and a trick motor in that caddie in the back or I blow your balls off and then have Bad Mother Fucker beat you like you have never been beat before."

Big Daddy trembles as he speaks into the PA system.

"Tyrone, Mickey, Cletus, I have a special job for you, please report to the main office as soon as possible, please hurry"

Superbad kicks him in the stomach and at the same time knocks the microphone to the floor causing feedback throughout the building. The three mechanics burst in the office clutching their ears from the piercing sound of the mic.

Big Daddy Brown still quivering and practically pissing himself attempts to instruct the mechanics to get the caddie running however they can. SuperBad pistol whips him and gives the mechanics new orders. 

"I want a ferrari suspension and motor in that caddie and a kick ass stereo also, don't forget to make plenty of room in the back for Bad Mother and maybe some bulletproof glass if ya got it"

SuperBad throws Bad Mother the $1500 cash and suggests he head over to the liquor store as it will probably be a long night.